Personal Trainer

Words and Photographs by Marieke Hulzinga

If you had a personal trainer alter ego, what would their name be?

Kilian: I would be called ‘The Runner’, and I would only do running training.

Willem: I like ‘Bill’.

Were you good at sports in school?

Kilian: No not in school, because I was an overweight kid. But when I finished school, that all changed.

Willem: Same for me, I really didn’t like it at all. I was really bad at sports.

What is your least favourite sport and why?

Willem: I really hate running, because I get really tired and I sweat very easily. And I get a bit embarrassed.
Kilian: I really dislike tennis. Willem is actually really good at tennis, Abel as well. It’s a really technical sport, and you have to play very carefully otherwise the ball is going to be out. You can never really get tired if you’re not good enough, and then if you don’t really get tired it doesn’t feel like you’re doing sports. So I don’t really try to get better, which means it’s like a vicious circle of it getting worse. Also it’s like 74% running after a ball and picking up balls from the ground. I think it’s a really dumb sport. I’ll try it again if they’ll give me those kids on the side of the field though. I might enjoy it better.

Willem: That is really stupid about tennis, yeah. You have to pick up all the balls yourself.
Kilian: It’s like walking the dog and picking up the poo. It’s a bit embarrassing.

Do you have a favourite group of vegetables? Like leafy greens for instance.

Willem: I really like aubergines.
Kilian: For me, any kind of tomato. I think every lunch and dinner that I make has some element of tomato in it. Sometimes I’ll have all the ingredients of a meal in the house, but not a pound of cherry tomatoes, so I’ll run to the supermarket just to get it. They don’t even have to go with the dish, it just doesn’t feel complete when there aren’t any tomatoes.

What is your favourite tomato dish? Or type of tomato?

Kilian: If I go all out, I’ll put them in the oven on the vine. Or just half them, put them in a salad with some balsamic vinegar.

And what do you do with your aubergines Willem?

Willem: I put them in curries.
Kilian: Aubergines are great too. Although you need time with them, they thrive on tender love. You can grill them, put them in the oven and let them simmer. But it needs a lot of attention. Tomatoes are easier.
Willem: You could say I’m a bit more of an aubergine and you’re more of a tomato.

Kilian: Yes it really reflects our personalities.

What is your opinion on electric scooters?

Kilian: Some of us actually tried them when we were in Liverpool earlier this year.
Willem: Oh yes, I think I dislike them because I don’t think they are safe. Kilian: I once tried one in Berlin when I was on holiday and we did a little drag race, and I jumped with it and then I fell and I had a big bruise on my hip. But when we were in Liverpool, we actually went on them with two people at once and we went on the road and it was really fun. Not all of us have the right licence for it, so we doubled up. It’s actually nicer when you can go on it with someone else, because they can hold you. Not a lot of British people will know about this, but the best feeling in the world is when you’re cycling and you have someone sitting on the back of your bike and they’re holding you by your waist to keep balance. It’s a nice feeling of comfort. And the scooters come close, when you have someone on the back.

Willem: I was always really scared of having someone on the back of my bike when I was still in high school. Because I was really nervous about not being able to move forward with them. Once a girl asked if she could sit on the back of my bike, and it was such a moment. So I’m totally with you on that.

Kilian: Yes it’s a really nice feeling when someone puts their entire trust in you, on a bike or scooter. So I think lime scooters are great. But I’m really glad we don’t have them in Amsterdam.

Do you collect anything specific, such as tiny bottles or ticket stubs?

Willem: I once started collecting kaleidoscopes, but I stopped when I had two. I also used to collect a lot of beer bottle caps, until I had two or three trash bags full of them. But then I threw them all out.
Kilian: I started collecting can tabs. I had endless key rings full of them. But then I threw them all out as well.

Willem: I do collect a lot of scraps of stuff and stickers and I put it all on my wall in my room. It’s one big mess, it’s nice. It’s like a continuous thing. Kilian: Yeah you’re almost losing square metres in your room because you keep adding to it..

Willem: Yes it’s getting quite thick now. Like layers and layers. Kilian: Yeah you’re a good collector Willem.

Is it all from touring?

Willem: It’s like anything. I like that every piece is as important as the other pieces. So I have like tax letters on there, photographs of my parents, random pieces of paper. It’s nice, it feels great.
Kilian: And some records that you like on the wall..

Willem: Yes, just stuff. And I can put it up and throw it away. It’s a nice feeling.

Describe your favourite breakfast. What does it include?

Willem: Easy. A full English with black pudding.
Kilian: I always eat the same breakfast every morning. Low-fat quark with muesli, not granola. I always buy the rough, coarse flakes of oats. And then I add raisins and nuts, dried coconut and dried banana. And if I feel wild dried cranberries or chia seed. First the quark, and then the granola. I hate it when people do it the other way around. I think that is a sin, because it will make your granola soggy. There has to be a banana in it though. And if there’s no banana, it’s alright if there’s a peach.
Willem: I make really complex sandwiches, with a lot of stuff on it. Just anything that’s in the fridge really.
Kilian: Yeah you’re a really good chef.

Do you remember the moment you wanted to “do music”?

Willem: I remember really being into the Arctic Monkeys when I was 8 or something. And I was quite sure I wanted to be in a band from that point.

Kilian: I was already sort of in a band in high school, together with Abel (synth / trombone player in Personal Trainer). It wasn’t really a cool band or anything but it felt like something only we did in school. Before that, I was a football player in school, but not a really good one. So I was mainly substituting and just not playing the whole game. And I felt pretty sad about it. But then I went to a show one night and I was tapping on my knees to the music, and I remember thinking: fuck the sports people, I have music. This is something I actually can and like to do.

What is a song that currently gets everyone going in the tour van?

Kilian: It’s a great song, it’s called ‘Search for the Soap’ from Sesame Street. And we listen to some affirmations as well.
Willem: Yeah those affirmations are interesting.. We actually have to repeat what the person is saying.

Kilian: Something we do every tour is create a playlist where everyone can add 100 songs, and then we shuffle them and then we have to listen to the playlist in order so we can’t really skip a song. So everyone puts in songs they like or some random stuff, especially Abel.

Willem: I’ve put some weird stuff in there too.
Kilian: What is your weirdest?
Willem: I found a really bad cover of Wet Leg’s ‘Chaise Longue’ and I also have three minutes of penguin sounds.
Kilian: Ah that’s cool. I added the Thomas the Tank Engine theme tune. Willem: Oh and a lot of Pokemon music and Minecraft music.

Are there any nicknames for the people in the band?

Willem: Definitely.
Kilian: We have actually made these official this year, because now when we’re touring in the UK there’s a lot of paperwork to take care of because of Brexit. So on this form you have to fill in your first and last name but there’s also an option to fill in your stage name. So we all have official stage names now. My name is Gideon, Willem is Fred, Abel is mini Sisi, Kick is Jungle, Franti is Frieda, Leon is Otto and Ruben is ‘The Italian’.